Alive

This is a song that is very simple but means a great deal to me. It is about my daughter Michaela, who only got to spend a moment with her Daddy before she passed. That moment lasted an instant in time, but an eternity in my eyes.

I'm on the floor with photographs, I can't see past my own collapse.
This box is empty, I am done with souvenirs of depression.

I'm so alive, my soul's a lie.

Jealous rage intoxicates, but consequence reverberates.
Inside each day I'm feeling less, I still can't say I've no regrets.

I'm so alive, my soul's a lie.

This is all hypocrisy and contradicting core beliefs.
I'm just a freak with no control of what I might do since you've gone.

I'm so alive, my soul's a lie.

I'm alive, you're not alive; you're not alive, but I'm alive.

Empty

There's no way I can leave here alive; I don't have the strength to survive this alone.
I don't need your empathy, I need a better way.

Damaging myself through your eyes; give of yourself like I bleed for you.
I don't need your innocence, I need a better way.

Make me bleed my anger, give me my disease; carve out my obsessions, leave me empty of me.

Feelings of disenchantment; I gave you most of all your scars.
I don't need forgiveness, I need a better way.

There's no reason to be here; pack up my things and leave here tonight.
I don't need you anymore, I need a better way.

Make me bleed my anger, give me my disease; carve out my obsessions, leave me empty of me.

Another Day

This is from my my first CD, written almost 10 years ago.

I don't know where I'm going, I've been locked in here too long;
Reflecting on memories not my own, straining to keep my soul.

Stealing my air from this bitter coldness shuts me down inside,
When will I rise to greet the new day? Will I ever die?

Who will be my companion through this, sew yourself to me;
Share my kidneys and my poison, experience the fear.

I don't think you understand me when you hide your eyes,
Soak yourself with gasoline and jump into my fire.

You don't need to hold my hand I'm not the one who's scared;
It's hard to see what lies inside when you have no soul to bare.

Misery loves company but prefers to be alone,
Settle down and close your mouth so I can run back home.

Another day I face the pain - another day.
Another day, it gives me strength - another day.
Another day I'm not the same - another day.
Another day I feel this way - another day.

Save Me

Words conspire upon me, sabotaging all my dreams;
draining all my will to breathe.

Fragments of my past, are stuck in me like glass;
severing what's left of me.

Save me - this time - or I won't be the same again.
Take me - in stride - don't believe what I have said.

I'm coming back again, to the place where I began.
Crippled in my head, facing my regrets.
I've stumbled on my own, into a darker soul.
This is not my home, this is not my home...

The echoes of what was, keep me here because;
I won't forgive anything.

I've failed you once again, but we will still pretend;
there's nothing wrong with suffering.

Save me - this time - or I won't be the same again.
Take me - in stride - don't believe what I have said.
You'll be - just fine - think of me when you rest your head.
I'll be - alright - save my place in your heart until then.

I'm coming back again, to the place where I began.
Crippled in my head, facing my regrets.
I've stumbled on my own, into a darker soul.
This is not my home, this is not my home...

Collide

I've decided to put some of my song lyrics here; not that anyone really cares about my self-described lyrical genius. But I do. Plus, it gives me another topic to write about. This is my most recent song I just finished, 'Collide'.

You left me standing there in pools of my self-hate -
My arms left open wide.

You've been so candid with everything in place -
I see our worlds collide.

Collide...

You moved away from this to show me I'm the same -
Through all I've sacrificed.

You're still pretending that I have been erased -
I saw it in your eyes.

Your eyes...

These tears upon my face -
Will never be replaced -
Where did you run to hide?
Why did we have to collide?

You came across sincere but I know what you are -
Feigning forgiveness.

Your lack of clarity in matters of my heart -
Leaves me innocent.

Tonight...

These tears upon my face -
Will never be replaced -
Where did you run to hide?
Why did we have to collide?

My soul has been betrayed -
Our lives so rearranged -
Where did you run to hide?
Why did we have to collide?

Collide...